Five months ago.
Five months.
It's been five months since I've found time to write anything deeper than a post full of pictures and captions.
So let's recap.
Important events:
Pre-September:
1. Completed interviews at Olivet High School, Cassopolis High School, and Calhoun Christian High School.
2. Received one offer, as a part time Spanish teacher at Calhoun Christian.
3. Considered it.
4. Mrs. Kearney passed away.
5. Ran into Mrs. Phelps and Mrs. Phillips and discussed job things.
6. Carrie called to tell me about a long term Spanish sub position at Avondale High School (where?)
7. I interviewed there and...
September
1. Got the job.
2. Started work in Auburn Hills at Avondale High School as a Spanish Teacher teaching Spanish 2 and 3.
3. Moved to Pontiac.
October
1. I was hospitalized the night of my first Parent-Teacher conferences at AHS.
2. I was then told that I needed to have my gall bladder removed, as well as the four gall stones in my bile duct.
3. I freaked out because that came w/ 10 days of procedures and recovery time.
4. I was NOT fired.
November
1. Soon after I got OUT of the hospital, my grandma fell and broke her hip.
2. Two days later my dad ended up in the hospital one floor below his mom (my gma).
3. I purchased the new Swell Season CD.
4. I survived being a long term sub through Thanksgiving.
5. I painted my kitchen wall orange.
6. I saved a stray kitten from being cold and alone.
December
1. I realized that I have a regular coffee place (Caribou Coffee, Squirrel and Walton) and LOVED it.
2. I survived being a long term sub til Christmas break.
3. I found out my last day of subbing is in January (the 18th or the 19th).
4. I went to the Swell Season concert in Ann Arbor w/ Zosette.
5. That concert is now #2 in my extensive list of amazing concerts. It's right in between Say Anything in St. Louis and Motion City Soundtrack in Chicago. (Both of those were my freshman year).
6. I rocked an interview at Lutheran High North for a position starting in March 2010.
So those are the important events in my life over the past five months, but what have I learned?
Where is the analysis, the personal spin that is most interesting to other people, and to me?
Well, I learned that finding a church when you move some place new is one of the hardest things in the world to do. I learned that without Jesus I never would have made it through the ridiculously long hours and difficult tasks of being a long term sub.
Five months ago, I was so scared and lost and was completely convinced that I would never be in the place I am now. A place where I have a job, and a home (my apt. really feels like my first home), and I can pay my own bills, for the most part. My parents have been so patient with me, and I don't know what I would do without them.
What is interesting to me now is that I have different fears and worries that are equally as intense (at times) as the ones from five months ago. They've grown broader maybe, like when will I/ will I ever find someone who I want to be with and who will want to be with me?
How do I transition from being a college student into being an adult? What are my priorities in life going to be? How am I going to start my career off? How much will I save and when will I save it? How many material possessions do I need in my life?
It has been a hard transition from college to real life in really one way. Where do I find my community now? Maybe it's just difficult for those who don't go immediately into a solid or permanent work environment, or for those who live alone or go back to living at home, but wow is it difficult to maintain a community of people around you when you don't know anyone and your colleagues are all older than you by a significant amount of years.
More time should be spent on helping former college kids adjust from college to adulthood than from high school to college. Someone could corner that market if they wanted to.
I lost my train of thought because my heart got in the way. I've developed a crush on one of the baristas at my regular coffee place. And it's bad. I've skipped to that point in time when I've already idealized everything about this dude. And from what I've observed in myself and in him over the past few months, it wouldn't work out mainly based on lifestyle choices. And so I feel that same pull in my heart when I see him, but it's all futile. It's a vicious cycle this desire to be with someone inspite of everything that tells me not to act on it.
Also, I'm pretty much a creeper. Always.
I just want to live a life of love towards others, and service towards others. Really that's it. I don't appreciate compleciated emotions getting in the way. EVER. But apparently, such is life. And some things we just never learn, no matter how often we learn them.
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