Dear seniors everywhere,

Identity. That’s a heavy word, right? Right now, your life as a senior is full of self-discovery. And you can be guaranteed that your college life will be full of similar questions. Who am I? What am I doing with my life? Why am I the way I am? How does my life make a difference? When do I start my life?

I need you to understand two things: you are loved and your identity is not based on any of those questions. 

You are a child of God. You are a CHILD OF GOD. YOU are a child of God.

Take a minute to think about what that MEANS. You come from the most powerful being that exists. You are a part of Him. You are made in His image. There is nothing more precious than you. Now here is the real revelation, between being a child of God and being covered in Christ’s redeeming blood, your value is not based on what you do.

No matter how you have lived your life to this point, your worth comes from the One who created you. You are not an athlete. You are not a nerd. You are not emo, a hipster, an overachiever, a failure, or an outcast. Do not carry around what you have labeled yourself or what you have been labeled the rest of your life. There isn’t enough time not to embrace who you really are.

 We have been born into a messed up world. Making sense of it helps us survive. We like labels because we want to make sense of our lives. As you move forward with the rest of this year, be brave enough to allow your identity to be determined by Christ. Be brave enough to come back from this experience and be different. A retreat is designed to form an intense intentional community that seeks God’s presence together. It is meant to separate you from everything so you can focus and be changed. So don’t just be changed because of a mountaintop experience that will fade as you adjust to real life again. The experiential high of an intense retreat moment is just that, based on a moment. Make the conscious decision to be different.

And if you don’t know what that looks like, ask for help. God craves a relationship with you like you crave fast food or music or video games. As imperfect as you may be, God wants to be nearer to your heart more than anything else that exists.  Trust that He loves you and wants to be with you as you navigate the new and exciting parts of your life. Trust that He knows how you feel about your life, not because He is creepily eavesdropping on you, but instead because His Son knows. Jesus lived life. He faced issues of identity, of worth, of temptation. He was challenged by the Pharisees, amused by His disciples and loving towards His family.

While it is true that high school graduation is the ending of something, and college is the beginning of something, don’t let anyone fool you into thinking that by starting college you are entering the best years of your life. That is false; each year of your life is a gift. You will have different kinds of experiences in college than when you start working, it’s true. Each stage of life is different, but none is better or worse than another. So approach it as a fresh start, if you want, but not as the only fresh start you get.

Do not let what you did or who you hung out with follow you around your whole life, but especially as you go into college. Don’t try too hard to re-invent yourself either. Just accept that how you define yourself won’t make sense to the world. Have the courage to be defined by your faith in a just and loving God. Allow your label to be “loving, servant-hearted human being whose life reflects Christ’s mission”. Do not ever be afraid to start over in the middle of your life or the middle of a day. It does work that way, it DOES. You can always be redefined by the grace of God. Any minute, any hour, any day or any year you can always be redeemed. You can always reclaim your identity as a child of God. Always. There is nothing that you can do to take that option away. NOTHING.

Go forth. Be brave. Love as Christ did. Serve people who deserve it and those who don’t. Remember that heaven is coming, and this life will fade more quickly than you can imagine. God loves you, and so do I.

Love always,

A

P.S. Check out 1 John 3:1-3

Dear self (parte uno),

      I know that you are in a lot of pain right now.  You are constantly doubting the person that you are because of the feedback that you've been getting at work.  I need you to trust yourself.  You are not crazy, you are a person.  And as we know, people have problems.  You have never claimed to be perfect, in face, you are harder on yourself than anyone you've ever met has been on you.  You are reacting to a pattern of events that has not changed much over time.  You can admit things like: you haven't worked 150% this time.  It's the FIRST TIME in your life that you have not given it all, and with good reason.
     You need to remember that there is a good reason that you create loyalty wherever you go. You have many students who still love you, and your kids in this show are responding to you positively for a reason. Not everyone in life will like you, but then again, not everyone will take the time to truly see you for who you are.  You probably care about others as much as you put pressure on yourself to succeed. 
    I know you are discouraged right now, everything seems stacked against you.  You have a ton of people rooting for you, supporting you, and willing to help you.  You are NOT in this alone.  People around you have been just as badly mistreated, if not worse, and they know what you are feeling.  This show is going to be wonderful, you (and everyone else) have worked extremely hard on the production itself and there is no way that it won't show through during the performances.
   There is definitely a reason why this is happening. You've already seen the amount of growth and strength you've gotten from this experience.  You've met and created relationships with wonderful people, and found out once and for all that you WANT to be teaching.  No questions asked anymore.  That was a bonus, that you hadn't expected.  Your job after this is all over (soon, darling, SOON) is to build on that desire.  And to create the future that you really would like.  One day, you will laugh at the ridiculousness of all the drama and hurt feelings from this chapter of your life.  This pain will not last forever, and in the mean time, continue to take care of yourself and cuddle with Billy.

Love always and forever,
A

Dear rain,

    I missed you.  Thanks for coming back. :)

Love always,
A

Dear bosses,

     I have noticed a disturbing trend sweeping the nation.  Bosses seem to think that the less effort they put into their employees, the more they will get out of them.  Less communication from the top down equals more information moving up, apparently.  Less guidance equals more focused work results.  Less confidence shown equals an increased ability for employees to willingly take risks and try new ideas.  I would like to put this out there once and for all: if you are a boss, you must lead.
    Expectations are something that cannot be voiced once, and then never referenced again.  Making employees feel foolish for not following the exact expectations you voiced seven months ago, if you have not discussed them since.  That is NOT going to get you a pleasant work environment or a relationship based on trust.  Employees cannot read your mind, in the way that you cannot actually read their minds either. 
     Communication is a must for a reason.  Here is an example: if you tell an employee that they need to improve productivity within the staff by giving them more concrete guidelines, then they clearly know what you would like them to do.  If you store up frustration and do not inform the employee that you wanted them to do something differently, they will not know that you are frustrated and need to change their course of action. 
     Hint: calling an emergency meeting at the crisis point, and venting all of your frustrations and concerns at an employee will not solve them.  It will make the situation worse.  Your employee will be three times as frustrated as you, because they had no idea that they were not doing things the way you wanted.  Being told that all of their hardwork is not enough for you is a slap in the face, and will lead to a downshift in morale. 
    Also, if you include "being late" in the employee handbook as a potential reason for being fired, YOU should not be consistently late, no matter what the excuse.  By putting yourself in the role of boss, you are constantly watched by your employees as someone to emulate in the workplace.  You cannot be the exception to the rule.  You also cannot have things both ways.  You cannot expect information to flow freely upwards if you do not make a point of sharing information with the rest of your staff.  You cannot expect to be respected if you do not show respect to your staff.  You cannot get upset if your staff acts their age, although you expect to have understanding beyond their years.  You cannot say that you like everyone that you hire, when you treat them like all they do is disappoint you.
   You cannot put the blame for failure within your staff solely on them.  If you expect teamwork, and try to maintain blamelessness during a crisis your staff will not be loyal to you, if they remain at all.  Passing the buck is not a leadership style.  Try truly listening to what your employees have to say, especially when they ask questions or give suggestions.  Building a true relationship built on trust and mutual respect will get you a stronger staff then building one on fear of failing you and constant miscommunication.  Use staff meetings well.  Understand that you are not the only one invested in the work that is being done.  Remember that you are a leader, not just a boss.

Sincerely,
A 
      

Dear everyone who reads this blog (all 2 of you),

I have tried for quite some time, in our technologically driven world to find a niche that allows me to express my thoughts and opinions in a way that is NOT like my 6th grade diary entries.  I have many friends and follow many lovely women who write in a way that is impactful, concise, and inspiring. This is my one billionth try to contribute something meaningful to a world full of instant meaningless facts being shoved into our ear-holes. I believe in writing from the heart, so that's what y'all will see. Enjoy! Or don't. It's your choice.

Love always,
A

Working Girl

So........ I have a job!

Not only THAT it is an absolutely fabulous job!

I get to work here. *smiles*

My boss is one of the sweetest and most passionate women I've ever met, full of encouragement and initiative.

The teenagers I work with are hilarious and devoted to our cause of bringing healthy and interesting activities to my hometown's community and neighboring townships.

We have available:
Pottery studio (with kiln)
Art studio for: Painting, Arts and Crafts, and more
Sewing Studio
Gymnasium
Stage and Theatre program for: teaching kids about theatre AND putting on AMAZING shows.
(Soon to be) Culinary Arts program with retro style café
Tech lab
Film programs
Recording studio
Youth Advisory Councils

We work with elementary, middles school, and high school students.

Friend us on Facebook
Follow us on twitter

I'm SO excited to be a part of this opportunity to create amazing programs for my local communities.

Peace world!

How the bl**p did I end up here?

*image from here


Have you ever asked yourself that?

I am very aware of how easy it is to get lost in the physical world (aka while driving/in a foreign country etc).

But I'm talking about life here, people.

At 23, this is not where I pictured myself. I can't say that I'm starving or homeless or lacking for comforts that some people kill for, I'm simply stunned at where I ended up compared to where I thought I'd be.

Even more stunning, is that it's harder then I thought it would be for my dreams not to come true.

I guess that's just the idealist in me? Though I don't think that imagining myself with a job and an apartment, possibly even being in a relationship with a guy I'm crazy about (though that may be stretching it).

Stupid feelings. I need to stop letting them rule my life (according to my therapist at least).

Sleep well, foks.