I know that you are in a lot of pain right now. You are constantly doubting the person that you are because of the feedback that you've been getting at work. I need you to trust yourself. You are not crazy, you are a person. And as we know, people have problems. You have never claimed to be perfect, in face, you are harder on yourself than anyone you've ever met has been on you. You are reacting to a pattern of events that has not changed much over time. You can admit things like: you haven't worked 150% this time. It's the FIRST TIME in your life that you have not given it all, and with good reason.
You need to remember that there is a good reason that you create loyalty wherever you go. You have many students who still love you, and your kids in this show are responding to you positively for a reason. Not everyone in life will like you, but then again, not everyone will take the time to truly see you for who you are. You probably care about others as much as you put pressure on yourself to succeed.
I know you are discouraged right now, everything seems stacked against you. You have a ton of people rooting for you, supporting you, and willing to help you. You are NOT in this alone. People around you have been just as badly mistreated, if not worse, and they know what you are feeling. This show is going to be wonderful, you (and everyone else) have worked extremely hard on the production itself and there is no way that it won't show through during the performances.
There is definitely a reason why this is happening. You've already seen the amount of growth and strength you've gotten from this experience. You've met and created relationships with wonderful people, and found out once and for all that you WANT to be teaching. No questions asked anymore. That was a bonus, that you hadn't expected. Your job after this is all over (soon, darling, SOON) is to build on that desire. And to create the future that you really would like. One day, you will laugh at the ridiculousness of all the drama and hurt feelings from this chapter of your life. This pain will not last forever, and in the mean time, continue to take care of yourself and cuddle with Billy.
Love always and forever,
A
04 June 2011
24 May 2011
19 May 2011
Dear bosses,
I have noticed a disturbing trend sweeping the nation. Bosses seem to think that the less effort they put into their employees, the more they will get out of them. Less communication from the top down equals more information moving up, apparently. Less guidance equals more focused work results. Less confidence shown equals an increased ability for employees to willingly take risks and try new ideas. I would like to put this out there once and for all: if you are a boss, you must lead.
Expectations are something that cannot be voiced once, and then never referenced again. Making employees feel foolish for not following the exact expectations you voiced seven months ago, if you have not discussed them since. That is NOT going to get you a pleasant work environment or a relationship based on trust. Employees cannot read your mind, in the way that you cannot actually read their minds either.
Communication is a must for a reason. Here is an example: if you tell an employee that they need to improve productivity within the staff by giving them more concrete guidelines, then they clearly know what you would like them to do. If you store up frustration and do not inform the employee that you wanted them to do something differently, they will not know that you are frustrated and need to change their course of action.
Hint: calling an emergency meeting at the crisis point, and venting all of your frustrations and concerns at an employee will not solve them. It will make the situation worse. Your employee will be three times as frustrated as you, because they had no idea that they were not doing things the way you wanted. Being told that all of their hardwork is not enough for you is a slap in the face, and will lead to a downshift in morale.
Also, if you include "being late" in the employee handbook as a potential reason for being fired, YOU should not be consistently late, no matter what the excuse. By putting yourself in the role of boss, you are constantly watched by your employees as someone to emulate in the workplace. You cannot be the exception to the rule. You also cannot have things both ways. You cannot expect information to flow freely upwards if you do not make a point of sharing information with the rest of your staff. You cannot expect to be respected if you do not show respect to your staff. You cannot get upset if your staff acts their age, although you expect to have understanding beyond their years. You cannot say that you like everyone that you hire, when you treat them like all they do is disappoint you.
You cannot put the blame for failure within your staff solely on them. If you expect teamwork, and try to maintain blamelessness during a crisis your staff will not be loyal to you, if they remain at all. Passing the buck is not a leadership style. Try truly listening to what your employees have to say, especially when they ask questions or give suggestions. Building a true relationship built on trust and mutual respect will get you a stronger staff then building one on fear of failing you and constant miscommunication. Use staff meetings well. Understand that you are not the only one invested in the work that is being done. Remember that you are a leader, not just a boss.
Sincerely,
A
Expectations are something that cannot be voiced once, and then never referenced again. Making employees feel foolish for not following the exact expectations you voiced seven months ago, if you have not discussed them since. That is NOT going to get you a pleasant work environment or a relationship based on trust. Employees cannot read your mind, in the way that you cannot actually read their minds either.
Communication is a must for a reason. Here is an example: if you tell an employee that they need to improve productivity within the staff by giving them more concrete guidelines, then they clearly know what you would like them to do. If you store up frustration and do not inform the employee that you wanted them to do something differently, they will not know that you are frustrated and need to change their course of action.
Hint: calling an emergency meeting at the crisis point, and venting all of your frustrations and concerns at an employee will not solve them. It will make the situation worse. Your employee will be three times as frustrated as you, because they had no idea that they were not doing things the way you wanted. Being told that all of their hardwork is not enough for you is a slap in the face, and will lead to a downshift in morale.
Also, if you include "being late" in the employee handbook as a potential reason for being fired, YOU should not be consistently late, no matter what the excuse. By putting yourself in the role of boss, you are constantly watched by your employees as someone to emulate in the workplace. You cannot be the exception to the rule. You also cannot have things both ways. You cannot expect information to flow freely upwards if you do not make a point of sharing information with the rest of your staff. You cannot expect to be respected if you do not show respect to your staff. You cannot get upset if your staff acts their age, although you expect to have understanding beyond their years. You cannot say that you like everyone that you hire, when you treat them like all they do is disappoint you.
You cannot put the blame for failure within your staff solely on them. If you expect teamwork, and try to maintain blamelessness during a crisis your staff will not be loyal to you, if they remain at all. Passing the buck is not a leadership style. Try truly listening to what your employees have to say, especially when they ask questions or give suggestions. Building a true relationship built on trust and mutual respect will get you a stronger staff then building one on fear of failing you and constant miscommunication. Use staff meetings well. Understand that you are not the only one invested in the work that is being done. Remember that you are a leader, not just a boss.
Sincerely,
A
18 May 2011
Dear everyone who reads this blog (all 2 of you),
I have tried for quite some time, in our technologically driven world to find a niche that allows me to express my thoughts and opinions in a way that is NOT like my 6th grade diary entries. I have many friends and follow many lovely women who write in a way that is impactful, concise, and inspiring. This is my one billionth try to contribute something meaningful to a world full of instant meaningless facts being shoved into our ear-holes. I believe in writing from the heart, so that's what y'all will see. Enjoy! Or don't. It's your choice.
Love always,
A
Love always,
A
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